EXAM CRAMMING

A friend is studying for her US citizenship exam. Ever the gentleman, I offered a few nuggets of wisdom gleaned from the last 8 years to help her understanding of the current United States:

1. it's OK to torture people to try to get them to confess to connections that don't exist.

2. the First Amendment only applies to Republicans -all others must stay in their designated "free-speech zones"

3. Government is BAAAAD! Therefore the only people we should hire to do the actual governing should be completely incapable of doing it -thus proving that Government is BAAAD!

4. The United States Constitution is an inviolable and sacred document...unless you're reeeeeallly scared.

5. IOKIYAR (A.K.A. the 28th Amendment).

6.If a Republican president does it, it's privileged. If a Democratic president does it, it's criminal.

7. Individual liberties are nice, but are trumped by the "free market".

And finally:

8. It is your patriotic duty to question the actions of your government and demand accountability...unless you're a Democrat, or the actions in question happened more than 6 months ago.

Class dismissed.